The chair I had was very reliable… at least as reliable as an office chair could be. It was always there every day I came in, anticipating the mass of my mammouth ass weighing down on it. It has become apparent, however, that someone deemed it necessary to trade office chairs with me.

When I came into the office today and sat down in the chair, it was at a good height. As my day progressed, however, the chair’s height became lower and lower. Around 4PM, I decide it’s time to wheel quickly to the edge of my cubicle in frustration to go talk to my manager about a problem I can’t solve. I give a hard shove with my feet the floor sending me scooting backwards. Wouldn’t you know it… a  F***ING WHEEL FALLS OFF!

Naturally, it was the back wheel and naturally the leg dug into the carpet and ass over tea kettle I went. Hilarity ensues in the jiggling bellies of those around me. What a SPLENDID day! I just hope I get the ransom letter soon so I can get my old chair back!