Posts tagged Funny
LOL… Any Last Words? NO! I Want Last Burrito!
May 14th
FORT WAYNE, Ind. – Officials say a suspected drug dealer who led police on a 90 mph chase in Indiana was arrested after he stopped suddenly at a Taco Bell parking lot.
Fort Wayne police Sgt. Mark Walters says 36-year-old Jermaine Askia Cooper told officers he “knew he was going to jail for a while” and wanted to get one last burrito.
Cooper was held without bail on four counts of dealing cocaine, one count of resisting arrest by fleeing and other charges.
A voicemail mailbox for a listing for a Jermaine Cooper in Fort Waine was full and not accepting messages.
Police say the chase began Tuesday after officers spotted Cooper, who was wanted on other charges, and tried to pull him over.
And Speaking of Rape…
Jan 28th
Maybe they were ‘playing rape?’ I’ve always gotten a real kick out of this story. How the hell do you accidentally shoot someone while having sex with them unless you’re holding the gun and pretending to rape her? I suppose it could have been one of those situations where the guy were like “hold on, I need to get my cock ring,” but this seems only viable in a nearly impossible situation.
Maybe his wife were on top, he reached over, and pulled the trigger to the gun thinking it were his little ring? “Oops, sorry hunny, I thought the trigger attached to the cold steel gun felt like my ring!” Bullshit. This reminds me of those shot glasses that say 0 – Horny in 3.2 seconds. I think in this case, it would be appropriate for the saying to be reversed!
A Meal to Die For
Jan 17th
Check out this video! It reminds me of a time when I traveled across the country with my friend Albert. We stopped at a Grandma Max’s Restaurant in Nebraska and I had a 4lb. Big Max Challenge burger. It cost me $16.99!! It had 2lbs of beef, a pound of bread, and a pound of condiments.
I’m Learning Yoga!
Jan 9th
Yup, thats right! I am taking the time out of my life to learn Yoga. My roommate has been telling me all of health benefits of doing Yoga, and after doing some of the poses in this video I can certainly see where he’s coming from! I can successfully do the first, third, and last pose and now I’m VERY sore! To truly appreciate the state of relaxation Yoga puts you in, make sure you have your speakers on so you can hear the music.
Lucky Moments
Jan 9th
Check out the video below. These are some REALLY lucky people. My favorite is the “robbers” or whatever they are. They had a super lucky getaway!
Banger Racing
Jan 9th
Here is a cool video about banger racing, which primarily occurs in Europe. If you are unfamiliar with this type of racing and interested in learning more, check out the Wikipedia Article.
LOL – This is From Awhile Ago
Jan 5th
[22:54] Me: hey
[22:54] Them: hey
[22:54] Me: whats up?
[22:54] Them: ntm just being with my man and u
[22:54] Me: kool
[22:54] Me: just relaxing
[22:55] Me: do u want to hang out sometime?
[22:55] Them: why do u what to hang out
[22:55] Me: might be fun to hang out as friends… we used to hang out all the time.
[23:00] Me: …
[23:02] Them: this is her husband if u were to see her it would be no fun for u so leave her alone or u will deal with me got it
[23:02] Me: lol
[23:02] Them: no not lol i am searuis
[23:03] Me: you are what?
[23:04] Them: leave my wife alone or i am calling the cops is that plain enough for u
[23:04] Me: what does searuis mean?
[23:05] Them: just leave her alone i am dialing the phone now
[23:05] Me: for what?
[23:05] Me: for pizza?
[23:05] Them: who is this
[23:05] Me: Jesus himself
[23:06] Them: ok the cops are on there way and we have this hole conversation on message atrecives
[23:06] Me: what? really?
[23:07] Me: why didn’t you just call for pizza?
[23:07] Them: because we want u to leave us alone tom
[23:07] Me: i didnt even do anything?!
[23:08] Them: so this is tom george she dose not want u to bother her
[23:09] Me: but im not bothering her… you probably are … by controlling her ya big jerk!
[23:10] Them: she is the ne who called me out of the bedroom because u wont leave her alone and i dont control her u scum bag
[23:11] Me: ahhhhhahaha
[23:12] Them: well this is officer casey from clarmont pd
[23:12] Me: uh…
[23:12] Me: hi officer casey from ‘clarmont’ pd.
[23:12] Me: ?
[23:12] Me: whats the problem? LOL
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